New Year. New Start.

New Year, New Start.

As we always say each year, but really, how much of the past have we let go?
and how much have we moved on?
The Past has its values, but I believe I will only be better if I stop looking back.


Not having a job over the holidays has given me more time to think;
To realise my incompetency in the real world,
my weaknesses I ought to improve on,
that I still haven't tried hard enough

What is good enough? There is no such thing as good enough
In a society like Hong Kong, people keep looking for BETTER ways
people never stop climbing, when will there ever be a destination for satisfaction?
But then, successful people reach peak after peak, WAVES of satisfaction
This is why I admire this city, there is no end.  You just never stop.

Contradictory enough?

Been anticipating a reply for an internship that I've counted on,
but not even a response of rejection is heard
Sometimes I wish people can speak more truthfully,
instead of giving me false hope and not even bothering to tell me no.
Perhaps i haven't been proactive enough

What would I be doing if I had a job?
Maybe I'd be staring at the computer screen for 8 hours a day
stressed and bored of manuals or whatever administrative database work I'd be asked to do
Would I have time to think how I should spend my coming year?
Perhaps not...

In the past year, I've been "hit" with many unexplainable behaviours
hurt, and shocked
no matter how unbelievable it is, there may never be an answer to it
sometimes it's not your fault, or at least that's the only way we can think of it
so we shield ourselves even more, to prevent being hurt again

For me, one way of protecting myself is to re-organise the people I spend my time and effort on
there are friends who only need you to kill time with but selfish at heart
they wouldn't give a damn about your life when they are occupied
and then there are ones who are generous at heart,
those who know how to comfort people, sympathise them, show consideration and concern
there is only that much time available each day, why waste it on people who don't care for you?

The first step to filtering my social circle, is to 'unnecessary' friends
you either have quantity, or quality
hardly anyone manages to have both
so goodbye to those who don't interact with me at all, I don't need you on my list

After a few paragraphs of non-sense, here are some quotes from a magazine I read recently which I found inspiring:

Live everyday as the first

只有回到當初, 才能重燃心里那團火

有火, 才算活着

以最後的心情選最愛

以最初的心情去活着

I'm still finding a direction, and I'm not ready 

I want to look for answers tho I can't find the questions

but i'll keep searching 

Let's have a great start to the year!